Sunday, June 3, 2012

Superhero Athletes #3

Three Sheets (Superhero)

9 to 5 Name & Occupation: Alicia Sacramone, Gymnast, Team USA

Citizenship: USA

Powers: Three Sheets acquires her powers through alcohol consumption. When intoxicated, Three Sheets' strength, balance, and agility is enhanced to levels 11X greater than the most powerful and agile athletes. She often appears to have the ability of flight, but in actuality they are tremendous bounds. Moreover, her sensitivity to pain greatly diminishes when in the Three Sheets’ state. Three Sheets also has the ability to knock out or disorient her assailants by burping in their face. When near fire, she becomes a human flame thrower, breathing out a combustive jet stream.  

Weaknesses: Sobriety! When sober, Alicia Sacramone is still exceptionally athletic but nowhere near as powerful as when she's intoxicated. However, her greatest weakness is the lack of support from the community. Although Three Sheets provides the most valuable amenity (safety), she lacks the community's moral support. She is often criticized for her seemingly haphazard approach of defense and her expletive filled logorrhea. She often "blacks out" when in the "Three Sheets state" and can't remember the events that occurred or the techniques she used. After coming down from a Three Sheets episode, she experiences intense headaches, dry mouth, and a sensitivity to light. 

History: Alicia Sacramone didn't realize her alter ego "Three Sheets" until a visit to Toronto a few months after her 18th birthday. She was in Toronto for a gymnastics competition, in which she won, and because the legal drinking age in Canada is 18 she celebrated her victory with some friends. After a raucous night of drinking, Alicia and friends began to walk back to their hotel. On their trek back, a group of hoodlums slipped out of a dark alleyway and attacked the group. Alicia's friends ran off in all directions seeking escape or help. Alicia on the other hand stayed put; she was surprisingly not frightened by her attackers and knew someone needed to deliver some justice. When the first police officers arrived at the scene, there was no trace of Alicia; all that remained was a pile of hoodlums stuffed not-so-orderly into a dumpster.  

Goals: Ending gang violence, reducing the drinking age to 18 in the United States. (Much of her early work took place in countries where the drinking age is under 21.) 

Video footage of Three Sheets taking care of some business at a particularly
precarious bar. Sent in by S. Cimino.