Thursday, June 7, 2012

Superhero Athletes #4

Platypunk (Villain/Superhero)

9 to 5 Name & Occupation: Tim Cahill, Attacking Midfielder, Everton/Australian National Team

Citizenship: Australia, Samoa, UK, Ireland

Powers: Platypunk is exceptionally quick and stealthy. He is very rarely seen when committing his crimes. He developed a device similar to the platypus’ "electrolocation", that allows him to see in complete darkness. Also, similar to a male platypus’ poisoned ankle spur, Platypunk throws poisonous spurs at his pursuers (or sometimes those he just doesn’t particularly care for…for instance, someone who doesn’t say ‘thank you’ when he holds the door open for them) causing temporary paralysis.  He will on occasion join up with heroes on a special mission, if the price is right.

Weaknesses: Platypunk is small and not particularly strong. In the rare occasions he is captured, he doesn't have many "close proximity" defenses. The day time or well lit rooms – Platypunk relies on his stealthiness and this trait greatly diminishes in visible light.

History: Tim Cahill grew up struggling with his identity. He was born in Australia to a Samoan mother and an English father of Irish descent. As a very talented soccer player, he represented Samoa in U17 international play. Because he represented Samoa as a youth, FIFA restricted Tim from representing Australia and then also the Republic of Ireland for the 2002 World Cup. These decisions put Cahill in a very dark place, and he retreated to a secluded cabin in Tasmania, Australia. Here, he recognized that a local creature the platypus, a semi-aquatic monotreme mammal, also appeared to have some identity issues (beaver-like, duck-like, and reptile-like). However, the platypus appeared to be a very successful predator without any noticeable competition. Tim mimicked these successful traits and began his metamorphosis into the vigilante Platypunk. Shortly after his transformation, FIFA (not so surprisingly) changed its eligibility rules allowing players to switch international allegiance. 

Targets: All Major International Corporations (including FIFA, Interpol, and major banks)- Platypunk isn't your typical "evil" villain, his heart is often in the right place he just takes an overly dramatic approach to what he calls "justice".

Rare footage of Platypunk fleeing the scene of
a crime.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Superhero Athletes #3

Three Sheets (Superhero)

9 to 5 Name & Occupation: Alicia Sacramone, Gymnast, Team USA

Citizenship: USA

Powers: Three Sheets acquires her powers through alcohol consumption. When intoxicated, Three Sheets' strength, balance, and agility is enhanced to levels 11X greater than the most powerful and agile athletes. She often appears to have the ability of flight, but in actuality they are tremendous bounds. Moreover, her sensitivity to pain greatly diminishes when in the Three Sheets’ state. Three Sheets also has the ability to knock out or disorient her assailants by burping in their face. When near fire, she becomes a human flame thrower, breathing out a combustive jet stream.  

Weaknesses: Sobriety! When sober, Alicia Sacramone is still exceptionally athletic but nowhere near as powerful as when she's intoxicated. However, her greatest weakness is the lack of support from the community. Although Three Sheets provides the most valuable amenity (safety), she lacks the community's moral support. She is often criticized for her seemingly haphazard approach of defense and her expletive filled logorrhea. She often "blacks out" when in the "Three Sheets state" and can't remember the events that occurred or the techniques she used. After coming down from a Three Sheets episode, she experiences intense headaches, dry mouth, and a sensitivity to light. 

History: Alicia Sacramone didn't realize her alter ego "Three Sheets" until a visit to Toronto a few months after her 18th birthday. She was in Toronto for a gymnastics competition, in which she won, and because the legal drinking age in Canada is 18 she celebrated her victory with some friends. After a raucous night of drinking, Alicia and friends began to walk back to their hotel. On their trek back, a group of hoodlums slipped out of a dark alleyway and attacked the group. Alicia's friends ran off in all directions seeking escape or help. Alicia on the other hand stayed put; she was surprisingly not frightened by her attackers and knew someone needed to deliver some justice. When the first police officers arrived at the scene, there was no trace of Alicia; all that remained was a pile of hoodlums stuffed not-so-orderly into a dumpster.  

Goals: Ending gang violence, reducing the drinking age to 18 in the United States. (Much of her early work took place in countries where the drinking age is under 21.) 

Video footage of Three Sheets taking care of some business at a particularly
precarious bar. Sent in by S. Cimino.