Saturday, June 18, 2011

Top 11 Most Marriageable Female Characters

A list of the most attractive female characters in movies or television shows. A list only a single man could make.
Looks certainly have a little bit to do with making this list, but personality (you're welcome Mom) and all around awesomeness make up the majority.

11. Emily Blunt as Elise Sellas in "The Adjustment Bureau"
She's destined to be with someone else, but fuck destiny. Seriously, destiny is kind of like a one-way street, there's always gonna be that person that misses the signs. You can't always play by the rules. And who wouldn't change their fate for a gorgeous, athletic, sarcastic woman who walked into the men's room and started making out with them? Did I mention she's British. That means a cute english accent...and in most other cases bad teeth and bland food but not with Elise. Elise is focused and driven, but she's willing to give everything up for love. And that's someone anyone would be lucky to find.

10. Zooey DeShanel as Jovie in "Elf"
Sweet lord! That voice and those eyes no one could resist. Zooey DeShanel is the cutest actress around and her characters follow suit. Jovie is introduced as a sort of annoyed, unhappy shopping mall elf. She, like everyone else, is a little creeped out by Buddy the Elf (Will Ferrell); but is one of the first to discover his genuine goodness and innocence. Also, let us not forget she helped save Christmas. That definitely puts her on the nice list.
Baby It's Cold Outside

9. Emma Stone as Wichita in "Zombieland"
Maybe not a character people would think about right off the bat, but Wichita is kind of a badass. Before the Zombie apocalypse Wichita was a con artist using her good looks and innocent little sister to scam money off of love struck losers. Her con skills transformed to survival skills creating a self-sufficient and maybe a little harsh persona. She's funny in a sarcastic and mean way, but as the movie progresses she opens up and begins to believe things could be good again. Definitely somebody you want on your side if the dead reanimate. Plus, she's easy on the eyes especially considering most of the population is pasty gray and deteriorating.

8. Elisha Cuthbert as Danielle in "The Girl Next Door"
Yes she is a porn star, but she's probably the sweetest, coolest, most down-to-earth porn star around. She could totally go to bingo night with Grandma and have a good time. Danielle is trying to get away from the porn industry and that environment, and in the process she is helping her new neighbor break out of his shell. The great thing about her character is that she's not ashamed of who she was. However, she also knows she is so much more then solely a porn star and is eager to explore her possibilities. She's sincerely a good person who honestly falls in love with a genuinely normal, inexperienced (in life and other things) nerd; and she just happens to be "porn star" hot.
Bingo Night

7. Jennifer Aniston as Polly Prince in "Along Came Polly"
There's a lot of truth to the saying "opposites attract" aside from obvious in magnets, but it takes a lot of work. Polly Prince is a little spacey, not particularly motivated, and terrified of settling down. However, her best quality is her openness to someone totally different. It takes serious panache to attempt creating a relationship with someone basically your opposite. Polly changes throughout the movie, but we (the audience) also see how she influences her counterpart Reuben Feffer (Ben Stiller). They're good qualities influence each other and in turn creates a powerful romance. It also doesn't hurt that she's uber sexy. Uber Sexy!

6.Michelle Monaghan as Christina Warren in "Source Code"
She's beautiful, she's kind, and she's painfully honest. "Source Code" is primarily not a love story. It is more of a sci-fi/psychological thriller, and yet the character Christina Warren pulls on all the major heartstrings. She wins us over 8 minutes at a time, but frankly that smile could win anyone over instantaneously. The chemistry in this movie is so so strong especially given the limited time these characters have with each other. If I were to only live the same 8 minutes over and over, I think I would be okay with it if Christina Warren was always there sitting across from me.
Painfully Honest

5. Marion Cotillard as Adriana in "Midnight in Paris"
In the simplest terms, Adriana is sexy. She's a 1920's mistress in the best way possible. She becomes the inspiration to one of Pablo Picasso's most famous paintings and she had a huge influence on Ernest Hemmingway. Yet, the sexiest thing about her is falling for the ordinary kind of defeated Gil (Owen Wilson). Adriana is something of a muse, but she's also authentic and refreshingly approachable. She is the type of girl that has seen a lot and been a lot of places, and because of this Adriana is open to new adventures. If you could hold on to her, Adriana would never provide a dull moment.
Nice Face

4. Anna Friel as Charlotte "Chuck" Charles in "Pushing Daisies"
Is it wrong to be in love with a dead chick? I guess if she's brought back to life then it's okay. Chuck is the most wonderfully attractive zombie in entertainment history. Of course she's not like a zombie in how they're mindless, decrepit drones; but in how they died and came back to life. Ned "the pie maker" has the ability to bring dead things back to life, but if he touches them again they'll die forever. This little "catch" to Ned's power poses some issues for the two in love, but it speaks even more to the character of the beautifully colorful Charlotte Charles for sticking with him. She helps solve crimes, she looks adorable.
No Touchy

3. Evangaline Lily as Kate Austen in "LOST"
Freckles, fugitive, flight 815 survivor, mother; Kate could claim any of those describers, but more than anything Kate Austen's a Badass. Basically she's a combination of two other "LOST" characters, Sawyer and Jack. At times she's more than a little emotionally unstable and reckless, but that instability is fueled by her passion (Sawyer). She can also be thoughtful and caring to the extreme and take all responsibility (Jack). But the bottom line is when the time comes for taking action, she doesn't hesitate. She's smokin' hot while protecting you from smoke monsters.

2. Rachel McAdams as Claire Cleary in "Wedding Crashers"
"Crab cakes and football, that's what Maryland does!" It also created one of the greatest settings for the most intoxicating chemistry. Claire is the kind of girl your mother would be proud of and your friends would approve of. She'll make fun of your friends in a comfortable "being part of the gang" sort of way. Then on the other end, completely polite and gracious around the "rents". Now, if being totally adorable, witty, and outgoing doesn't attract you then you're probably lobotomized and nurse Ratched is reading this post to you which of course you can't understand. Oh and one more thing, Claire's rich.
Belgian Waffle Maker

1. Mila Kunis as Rachel Jansen in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Mila Kunis is gorgeous no doubt about it, and she's known to date less than attractive guys (sorry Macaulay). But we aren't talking about Mila, we're talkin' about Rachel Jansen. She's adventurous, a little crazy, and has no problem throwing out some tongue-in-cheek observations. Most of all, she gets it. And if you don't know what "it" is than you don't get it. Kapeesh? Unfortunately, most of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" takes place in Hawaii and we have to endure the abundance of short shorts and tank tops. If you can stomach the skin , you won't have a problem falling in love with Rachel Jansen. As great as Rachel Jansen is, her falling for a kind of goofy, normal guy makes her the number one most desirable character.
Die. Die. Die. I Can't.

Honorable Mention:

Hermione Granger from Harry Potter- The only reason she didn't make the top 11 is because she's better in the books. I couldn't put her on the list because "book Hermione" is so great, and I didn't want to take away from that.

Uhura from "Star Trek"- She's a total babe and a badass, but she goes for Spock? Spock's pretty lame.

Jamie Palamino from "Just Friends"- Because when Jamie smiles it takes me miles.

Belle from "Beauty and the Beast"- She's smart, brave, and incredibly lovely. She also falls for the ugly dude, so yeah she's pretty much got it all.

Carrie from "Carrie"- Hot.