Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The title pretty much says it all. It’s easy to look like somebody real, but it takes something special to look fictional. So here we honor those talented individuals. The fictional characters derive from a few of my favorite TV shows, movies, and one commercial. The comparison is based primarily on physical characteristics, but surprisingly a few couples share more than just exterior similarities. Enjoy!
11. Jake Plummer: Geico Caveman
The caveman is technically non-fiction, but the geico caveman living in Today's world is definitely fiction. This comparison is one of the couples that share more in common than looks. The Geico caveman is under appreciated and not given a fair chance. Similarly, Jake Plummer (like every other quarterback following Elway) was never given much of a chance in Denver.
10. Jason Kidd: Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter
Both terrify me, and I'm pretty sure Jason Kidd has a few horcruxes hidden away somewhere.
9. John Chaney: Archimedes from The Sword in the Stone
Is it a coincidence the Temple Owls coach John Chaney looks like an owl? No, I'd say it's more like fate. Aside from looks, Chaney and Archimedes both share brains, stubbornness, and resting on tree branches.
8. Lou Holtz: Grandpa from The Simpson’s
Loveable? Both of them. Senile? One of them, but it's tough to say which one!
7. Mike Shanahan: ET
Two of my favorite characters happen to be so very similar. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a good picture of ET screaming (like in the scene when Drew Barrymore first see's him), but these pictures do display the similar skin tones and wrinkled necks. Not to mention both have glowing hearts!
6. Charlie Villanueva: Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
When I was younger I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle, as I got older I began to realize it could never be... I don't have fast enough reflexes to be a ninja. Villanueva has the looks and might have the athleticism.
5. Tony Siragusa: Jabba the Hut
Both are a force to be reckoned with and I imagine without the headset and the shirt they'd be indistinguishable.
4. Alexi Lalas: Animal from The Muppets
Muppets and US soccer are like Peanut Butter and Pickles: A great combination often overlooked.
3. Pau Gasol: Big Bird from Sesame Street
Many argue Pau to look more like a Llama, but first of all llamas are the worst and second I think these pictures speak for themselves.
2. John Daly: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
They are more body doubles than anything else, and each have a bit of a temper. However, no matter what these characters do, show up hung over to a golf tournament or attack New York City, they'll always have a special place in our hearts.
1. Al Davis: Gollum from Lord of the Rings
Al Davis and Gollum share much in common other than obviously their physical appearance. They're both crazy, both in search for a ring, and both eat fish right out of the river.
Friday, August 13, 2010
This list consists of some of the best trailers ended up tricking us into watching their bad full length counterpart. The way the ranking system works is: the better the trailer the better the ranking (closer to #1) and the worse the movie the better the ranking (closer to #1). Now I’m sure I will leave some pretty awful movies with good trailers out of this list and so I welcome comments.
11. Hancock (2008) Hancock came out right in the midst of all the super hero movies, but this superhero movie had a twist. The trailer shows a loser of a superhero, potentially the only one in the world, who is hated by the people. So when Hancock volunteers to go to prison, society realizes how much they need him. The trailer looks entertaining, funny, and intense; and the movie is entertaining, funny, and intense… for the first half. The last half of the movie is just sort of bizarre and certainly unsatisfying. It started as a unique superhero movie that transitioned into a confusing hodgepodge of scenes. (Trailer 85% good Movie 55% bad)
10. Semi-Pro (2008) Semi-Pro had a pretty good trailer but its teaser trailer and Bud Light commercials were phenomenal. Will Ferrell doesn’t have to say anything to sell a movie; he’s probably the funniest comedic actor in the last decade. However, maybe he should have told us not to waste our time on this movie comprised basically of short skits meshed together. Semi-Pro would have done better cut-up on a web site like “Funny or Die” because it didn’t have enough substance to be a full length movie. Jackie Moon, Will Ferrell’s character, is too similar to Ron Burgundy except not as loveable. Semi-Pro is a movie you won’t need to or want to see more than once! (Trailer 80% good Movie 65% bad)
9. Year One (2009) Year One is one of those trailers chained together by great jokes. Unfortunately, all the best jokes of the movie are in the trailer “The Polly of Polies”. Jack Black and Michael Cera presumably make a great team, but the story was just too dumb (lack of a better word) and uneventful. Nothing really happens the entire movie! The movie consisted of a couple good jokes closely followed by a slew of witless, forced jokes. This movie was a total disappointment, especially coming from the director of Caddyshack and Groundhogs Day, Harold Ramis. (Trailer 80% good Movie 70% bad)
8. Funny People (2009) The Funny People Trailer looked hilarious and heartfelt, which one would imagine to be the recipe for a great movie. Great trailer songs, a great cast, and an interesting plot drew the audience into what looked to be Judd Apatow’s next great movie. Why would anybody believe it to be bad he hadn’t really had a movie flop before? The movie started off pretty funny, especially the opening credits, and was legitimately funny and interesting for the first hour. In most cases an hour of good, funny material would be enough but this is a two and a half hour movie! It is way too long, and the second half is far too awkward and slow. After the first hour the movie had no rhythm, and the audience was just waiting for it to end. If only they knew, they had an hour and a half left! (Trailer 90% good, Movie 65% bad)
7. Spiderman 3 (2007). What is there to say about Spiderman 3? Honestly, it didn’t really need a trailer. People were going to see this film solely on the fact that Spiderman 1&2 were so good. Obviously, a trailer was released (a very exciting, momentous trailer) and it only heightened our anticipation of the next great Spiderman movie. BOOM! The movie was a total bomb. The first twenty maybe thirty minutes were good, and then Peter Parker becomes all angsty and emo and ruins it all. I was looking forward to the progression of Mary Jane and Peter Parker’s relationship, and of course that didn’t develop. The third installment has way too much going on. Spiderman is battling the Sandman, the New Goblin, himself, Venom, and losing the girl. All these different plot lines make it hard to be interested in anyone of them. (Trailer 85% good, Movie 75% bad)
6. Godzilla (1998) Godzilla to an eleven year old kid seems like maybe the coolest movie of all time. The trailer is action packed and a little mysterious, the viewer isn't sure what's going on until the movie title at the end. The movie looked like one big thrill ride coupled with awesome special effects… But then I saw it. Godzilla was the first movie I really remember being actually disappointed in, and it’s pretty hard to disappoint an 11 year old with blood and guts and giant man-eating iguanas or whatever it's suppose to be. The movie turned out to be boring with an annoying leading lady, Maria Pitillo. The lack of Asian screams and frantic running also didn’t help. (Trailer 80% good Movie 80% bad)
5. Stepford Wives (2004). If you hadn’t seen the original Stepford Wives the teaser trailer didn’t give anything away. It’s cool, sleek, mysterious, and Nicole Kidman looks totally cute…of course in a cookie-cutter, shallow sort of way. The movie, on the other hand, is not cool or sleek and the “mystery” could’ve been exposed by Helen Keller within the first twenty minutes. Nicole Kidman, of course, still looks pretty cute. With such a great cast including: Mathew Broderick, Christopher Walken, Bette Midler, and Glen Close; it’s hard to imagine that this movie was such a bomb. Yet, none of the characters were interesting enough to care for. (Trailer 90% good, Movie 75% bad)
4. Where the Wild Things Are (2009) One of the best trailers in recent memory. Arcade Fire’s “Wake Up” is the perfect song for this fun, adventurous, and exciting trailer. We also get a glimpse at the beautiful production design and cinematography. There is no denying the arty, imaginative perspective Spike Jonze projected on to this film. The movie looks great, and the book it’s based off of is a classic; but Jonze’s adaptation is entirely too dark to be a children’s movie. The movie is not only dark it’s very slow! I could barely sit through it (maybe I have a little ADD) as a 22 year old, and you have to imagine a little kid, who supposedly this PG movie is made for, would have some serious problems understanding and enjoying this movie. I left the theater feeling depressed and disappointed. I expected a fun, adventurous, exciting adventure in an imaginative world. Instead what I got was a dark, depressing journey into an all too realistic world of unfulfilled hopes and desires. (Trailer 100% good Movie 70% bad)
3. The Village (2004) The Village trailer was legitimately scary and at the same time extremely intriguing. It isn’t often that I look forward to seeing a “horror” film, but the village trailer made the movie seem so interesting. The viewers do not get a clear look at the “monsters” and M. Night at that time had a good reputation for some realistic and scary creatures (Aliens, Dead People, etc.). Of course the movie had a twist, but unlike the Sixth Sense or Unbreakable the twist was completely absurd. The village takes place in modern times run by people afraid of the real world, and the “beasts/monsters” are the elders’ way of keeping the villagers from wondering to the outside world. Had the threats (the beasts) been real and had there been no outside world the suspense of this movie would have been worthwhile and interesting for years to come. (Trailer 100% good, Movie 75% bad)
2. Stealth (2005). Stealth has a totally bitchen, high octane, thrill ride for a trailer. Now nobody was expecting this movie to be the greatest ever; the whole “Machines Taking Over” kind of thing is getting a little drawn out. But people were expecting an entertaining, exciting, and often funny summer blockbuster. However, what the audience got was a predictable, annoyingly loud, and fairly boring mega-million dollar movie. There wasn’t much anticipation or climax in this movie, the most interesting part of the movie experience was fighting for arm-rest position in the theater seats. One review was spot on in commenting that: “The movie ends up resembling its robot plane: fast, sleek, soulless and monotone. “ Just another Jerry Bruckheimer bust! (Trailer 85% good Movie 95% bad)
1. Speed Racer (2008) Speed Racer looks awesome, sounds awesome, and has an awesome cast. Who wouldn’t believe it to be a great summer blockbuster? Bang, the Wachowski brothers end up providing another major case of blue balls. The first Matrix movie is starting to look like a beautiful mistake. Speed Racer was all special effects and sound without a developed story line. Many movies without a well developed story line still are interesting or entertaining, but Speed Racer is 135 minutes long! Ninety minutes might be manageable from a movie like this, but for the most part it was just dizzyingly nauseous! (Trailer 100% good Movie 85% bad)